The Culture of Hope Founded on Faith
The Marital Metaphor
This summer we had a number of workmen coming and going in our house to make renovations and to prepare the house for sale. One day one of them overheard me thank my husband for doing the repair he had just completed. The workman guffawed (yes, there is such a thing, defined as a “loud, unrestrained burst of laughter”) and said, “I don’t believe it. A wife saying thank you to her husband for something he fixed!”
For many years Dan and I have cultivated the habit of saying thank you to each other for everything. When we first started this form of respectful communication, we had to think about it and it sometimes took a while to remember to express gratitude. Now it is close to automatic and a part of our relationship that we guard closely. The idea of thanking each other creates a sense of both respect and appreciation from both sides that leads to increased recognition of true love and individual value within our relationship. The safe space that is our relationship as a result has made our occasional discussions of differences more easily negotiated. Marriage is a very complex relationship and there is much more to it than simply saying thank you all the time, but the “attitude of gratitude” towards each other goes a long way to strengthening our bond as a couple.
In the same way, our relationship with God is strengthened by thankfulness. This truth was originated by God and so gratitude for everything is included in Paul’s instructions about Christian living in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22: “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things. Hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil.” In fact, many New Testament instructions for Christian living have their basis in the metaphor of marriage.
The New Testament use of the marital metaphor has a direct link to the actual relationship between New Testament Christians, corporately called the Church, and Jesus. Revelation 19:7-8 gives a picture of the preparations for the wedding feast of the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ: “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to Him. For the marriage of the Lamb is come and His wife has made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white, for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.” In Revelation 21:9 the author is invited to see the bride in all her wedding finery: “And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.”
The bridegroom metaphor in John 3:28-30 relates the superiority of Christ: “You yourselves bear me witness that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before Him. He that has the bride is the bridegroom. But the friend of the bridegroom, which stands and hears Him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. This my joy therefore is fulfilled: He must increase, but I must decrease.” But Scripture also makes it clear that our individual relationship with Christ is demonstrated by the relationship of husband and wife. The archetype for human marriage is how God views us as believers, personifying what Jesus has done for us in human terms that are understandable to humans and representing expectations for our relationship with Jesus. He clothed us in righteousness, He brings us into His courts, He reached down for us and brought us out of disgrace, sin, and filth, cleansed us, and made us acceptable to the Father.
Finally, Ephesians 5:21-32 is very specific regarding the relationship of husbands and wives and bases the instruction on the illustration of Christ and the Church: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And He is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
Update/Prayer Request: Dan is doing much better but will continue dealing with low stamina issues for a long time to come. I still have some pain from the sternum fracture but it is healing little by little. Unless something else comes up (our Job-year may not be over yet), this is my final update and prayer request regarding the medical events of the past year for both of us. We do covet your prayers as we go forward, however. Please contact me or private message me on Facebook if you want specific prayer requests in future. I also hope you will continue to read the weekly devotionals as I plan to continue posting them to both website (www.susanmerrittphd) and Facebook.
